Monday, December 16, 2013
Observing
All my life I have seen the effects of divorce on kids. It largely affects these kids when they are little and even when they are grown up. I remember when I was little whenever my parents fought I immediately assumed that they would probably just get divorced because of the things that I heard in school. They always had to reassure me that that wasn't going to happen. Now that I am older I have gained my own perspective on divorce and I have come to the realization that there are only a few reasons why a couple should choose divorce but in most cases I think that working it through is always the awnser. Both people chose to live with each other forever and they knew the commitment that they were making when they got married. I think that that needs to be remembered. You loved each other to get married so you love each other to figure out your issues and do everything possible to keep it from falling apart. That is your promise that you made. KEEP IT
Growning Up
There are many different styles of parenting in the world. In Chicago you get a taste of all different kinds of parents and it can cause some friction within the society. I was always telling all my friends that my parents were the strictest and that they were always making my life hard. But my parents were so loving and were always there for me. They had rules but I was blind to the fact that they were trying to help me. But I wanted to rebel when they made more rules and that's where I think they went wrong. It was hard to be my own person and do what I wanted when I felt like everything I did was controlled. It made me want to show them that they had no control. So i lied behind their backs for awhile and our relationship was strained. But the last couple years we have worked together and compromised to come to a place in our relationship where we get along so well and can talk to each other and I don't feel the need to lie to them. Compromise is the key!
Daddy's Girl
Fathers have a big impact on our lives and can help us through the toughest of times. There was a time in my life where I rebelled against everything that they wanted. But my dad always had a warm heart and made me the happiest little girl alive when I pleased him. He has always been the rock in my life. He can be so disappointed in me yet can turn around in a day and love and support me. Fathers have all different kinds of roles and he has shown that he is doing the best he can in each role. He is a strong church goer and follows through on his callings and his duties as a husband and father. I am so thankful for everything that he has done in my life.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
The Key is Communication
Within the family they only way that you can be the most successful is when you have communication and compromise engrained into your daily life. It should be the main thing that you work on because most of the time this is the reason couples and families fight. My relationship with my parents has suffered a lot, especially with my mom. But as I have grown up and talked through my issues with my mother, we have developed a stronger relationship. We use to fight about everything and wouldn't agree on anything. But as time went on we realized that the only way we could get along is if we both compromised things. This led to easiness within the home, creating less conflict and a better relationship. It had been affecting my brother and dad, so that was something that changed as well. With maturity and compromising we have become a happier family who can work through our problems with ease.
Surviving Through the Tough Times With Family
My family use to have it easier then it is now. For the past 9 years we have struggled with the money aspect of things. My dad lost his job about 10 years ago and actually decided to start his own business. Obviously it has made things a lot harder now that we don't have a normal amount of money coming in. It has caused a huge amount of stress in our family and it seems like a lot of our problems always connects back to the shortage of money. I know that it has made us stronger, especially as a unit, but it causes conflict that we wish didn't exist. Money is a common stressor within the family along with many others. This is just my personal experience that I have noticed within my family.
With Love Comes Intimacy
Marriage involves the most sacred and amazing thing that we can be apart of. So many times has this world made sex look like a common, every day thing that happens between any couple that gets together. The media has destroyed the sacredness of this relationship. Men and women are suppose to love each other enough to get married and then be apart of this scared intimacy. Many people think lust is actually love. Many girls and boys have had their hearts broken because of rushing into it too soon. So many teenagers have just thrown this intimacy away and destroyed their future relationship with their husband and wife. This is suppose to prevent future affairs and even pornography. Lust is the one of the biggest reasons that relationships end up in break ups and marriages end up in divorce. It is something that my whole like I have wanted to mean something more then what the movies portray. This moment is special between a man and a wife. Lets make sure that we keep our thoughts and actions inside and not act on things that will make us have regrets later on!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Marriage Isn't The End of Change...
I use to think that everything I do in life leads up to the final step which is marriage. But I've realized that life continues to change and be challenging even if I am just a stay at home mom. Marriage takes constant effort and trying. Each new step in marriage is called a transition. There are lots of transitions during this time of your life and it can either bring conflict or happiness we just have to know how to deal with it. They are the greatest times of our lives and we want to be full of joy during it. Obviously you will learn more the longer you are married about how to deal with these new and coming changes.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Finding Your "Forever"
All my life I have been pretty boy crazy. But I have had my share of bad relationships and am still dealing with that. Last year though I was dating a boy that stole my heart. He was the first guy ever to make me feel special all the time and who I could really feel comfortable with. We dated for a little more then year and I was in love. I still am. All of high school I dated boys that were after the wrong thing or were guys I learned from. I found qualities I liked and disliked. Dating helps to prepare you for the future, when you are ready to settle down with someone who can be your "forever." Since I had dated so many guys I new that this special man was The One. Unfortunately he still had to go on a mission. So here I am 10 months after he's left dating around. Every guy I am meeting is now helping me to make sure that my missionary is definitely The One and only for me. So far, after dating here and there, it has been reassured to me that he has all the important qualities I am looking for. No one yet has matched up or exceeded our relationship. I will continue to keep dating and pray to our God to know if he is the right one. It takes quality time to find the quality "Forever."
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Dear To My Heart...
Recently it was made known to me that my brother use to struggle with same-sex attraction. As a young boy he was molested by a member of the church, someone that he trusted for a long time and since then destroyed his mind. My brother has questioned himself for many years now I guess and got in his own mind because of his past. But I guess the last couple years he has been fighting hard to not let himself feel that way. His attraction to women is becoming stronger now since he is allowing himself to feel sexual towards them.
The Lonely Bulgarian
My family has a family friend that is dear to our heart. My dad was the one who met him in a church parking lot one day. As my dad got to know him more and more he found out that he came illegally from Bulgaria so that he could make money for his wife back home. Throughout his whole time in America he has struggled constantly. He works for a trucking company that treats him horribly. The pay is terrible because they take advantage of him being illegal and know that he's desperate. When he has medical problems he gets poor treatment for it because it's all he can afford. His wife will visit him like every year or 2 but other then that he never sees his family and is always lonely. He lives on the road for the most part but when he gets a break his apartment in Chicago is so small and dirty. It has been so hard on his relationship with his wife and wants to return but can't yet. This is just a personal example of the hardships of being apart of a culture where your social class is so low and you don't get the care and respect that any other average american gets.
Understanding Family Dynamics
When we talk about families obviously they are going to all be different in their own ways. There are a couple theories that we can use to describe different families. For my family I learned that we are most like the exchange theory. We don't always agree but there is a lot of give an take in our relationships. To make our family function right we do a lot of compromising. If we refrain from doing this sometimes then (from my own experience) that I will withdraw from them and just want to get away from them. We have to work hard though constantly because one of us will always tend to be more stubborn. But we are training ourselves more and more everyday.
Societal Trends & The Family
In todays world we are noticing a major difference in the standards of marriage and family. Some families want kids and some never want them. Teenage pregnancy is more common causing more families to be run by a single parent along with divorce. Things are changing and it is not having a good impact on us all. The major problem of low birth rates is an example of what is changing the norm. I find it sad that all these things are changing and that people are making mistakes over and over again that cause not just them to struggle but our world altogether. I feel like so many people want to stand out and feel like they need to go against what the norm is. Now a days everything is about being unique, which is okay if we do it in the right way. Change is sometimes good but when used in the right way.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
This Is The Start
My name is Sammi Scott and I am 20. I'm from a suburb just 20 mins north of downtown Chicago. I have this blog not only for a class but because I want to share my feelings about the importance of family and the effects of the different issues that happen inside the home. Families go through thick and thin and have so many things to work through and deal with. It will be fun to read about and think about all these things as the semester goes on. Family is the greatest thing in this life and I couldn't be happier with mine.
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